infatuation

I met someone new,

and I've been lingering in

the feelings I felt with you;

Overwhelming tepidity,

Frequent uncertainty,

Occasional despair.

I try to convince myself

that this is the life I want.

That he is someone I could love.

I tell it to him, over and over,

I love you! I love you.

I love you- I love you

I don't, I won't,

and probably never will.

But he lives in a big house on a hill,

His mom is kind

when I come over for dinner.

We sit on his plaid bedsheets

and the stability is comfortable.

But it is not happiness.

I can hear it in his voice too,

trying to convince himself

I'm the only one he's ever wanted.

We lay naked on the floor

and both contemplate what it means

that we found someone

we were never looking for.