Anxiety
There is a scream inside my head
And it will not let me rest
Around me, the silence is maddening
Inside me, this scream is deafening
It envelopes every resting thought
It swallows my imagination
Around me, others walk contently
Inside me, my heart paces rapidly
This scream in my head is rather needy
Time of day or responsibilities are not priorities
It decides when to come and go
Not satiated with yes or no
It needs complex answers to impossible questions
To hear it’s echoes in places unmentioned
Legitimacy, it needs
For the panic and guilt it feeds
So where’s my release?
It’s certainly not in this 10 x 12 box
With chipped walls and ceiling rot
It’s not in this endless stream on my laptop
The stream of sound that lives in me
So loud I can’t remember to breath
It’s the cancer that rots my bones
The substance abuse that kills my soul
The scream that none but I know
That slowly etches its toll
These content beings in their silence, kill me
Just shut up and give me peace
If not peace, give me apathy
For once, let me feel nothing
Or find a way through the synapses of my brain
Down my left or right membranes
Through my fists or my mouth
Please, just get out
Quit tainting my every thought with dry rot
Quit drowning me in negativity
Distracting me from possibility
Let me be
When I try to muffle the cries
This screaming, I can’t subside
Like it lives deep within me
In parts I can’t reach
So I carry on in this metaphorical box
With chipped walls and ceiling rot
All the while, this scream in my head
Steals the night from me again