Moving

I've sat idle in this h*ll for far too long. The chaos, the pain, the hate. It's all too much. I've told you my feelings you dismissed them.

I told you my troubles you screamed and yelled and threatened.

You hurt me.

Yet I forgive you. not for you but for me.

I forgive the pain, I forgive the bruises, I forgive the abuse.

but I won't stay. I'm not going to put up with this. I don't have to put up with your problems that you are too immature to fix yourself. I love you as a daughter does her mother. yet you don't love me as a mother does her child.

I wanted your love so badly I almost killed myself to get it. But i'm done.

Leaving is hard. It's scary it's a new world of true unconditional love from a family I wasn't born to. It's not worrying for my mental and physical safety everyday. It not feeling anxiety when things aren't hard and full of fury.

Moving away is hard the internal battle i'm facing is even harder. However I have to do what is right for me. I need to protect myself finally. I need to love myself first. I will miss you and I will miss them, the smiles, the laughs, the good times that seem to be far and few between but I wont miss it enough to stay.

goodbye.