Too Deeply

I'm pulled by multiple forces;

they yank me from a stable conscious,

escort me into daydreams

of my foolish, foolish subconscious.

Imagining the warmth of one's hand,

words exchanged with authenticity,

sweetness desired and delivered,

and enduring life as if it were fleeting.

Repeatedly I pull from the daydreams

and repeatedly I smack myself

because I don't want to fall too deeply;

Lord, I just can't keep torturing myself.