Whiplash

The storm is all around me, going 90 mph. My face is becoming red, my skin it is starting to devour. Desperately turning, looking in every direction. Not knowing where to end, not knowing where to begin. "You need to find God, you need to move forward." Is there someone with all the answers..if so, where is this almighty lord? Has he known the answers all along, did he know the choice I would make before it became wrong? So many prayers that I said, if only to say them outloud to get them out of my head. Talking to the man in the sky, only when I needed something in return. Seeing the light inside of me fade, watching the flame go out and no longer burn. I take one step forward, just to fall two steps back. Looking past the gray clouds surrounding me, I see the foundation of my life starting to crack. Feeling so helpless I just want to get out, energy failing, I try to find my voice.. just to realize I lost my shout. Mentally glueing the broken pieces back together. Counting the causualties as I work, trying to replace the image with who we all were. "You cant jepordize your hapiness worrying about sin, you need to live your life." The words being shooved down my throat, branding me with the cut of the knife. If beliving in the solution that will bring you fun will also bring you death, is it really a solution at all? Having too much fun and hell go hand in hand. Both will leave you alone with the walls of insanity that you will crawl. How do we decipher between living life and living so much you're not living at all? Everyone brags about living on the edge, but no one talks about when living becomes dying and no one is around to hear you fall. The truth, the few moments of being alive that inside hide the ungliness. Mothers, father's, daughters,sons,sisters, brothers, the unbelievable moments that you will miss. Sacrifices made in order to feel free where no freedom exists, we did anything we could in order to feel okay, knowing the truth once it's to late I scream as the ground meets my fist. Angel on one side, devil on the other. They are me, I am them, if I push them away, my own voice I will forever smother. Ringing in my ears replaces the noise as I temporarly push them away. Look deeper and you will see the whiplash that is here to stay. They will be back no matter how much the sun may shine. Behind every blue sky is a storm, and this is mine.