You always thought you've lost her

in a made-up world she created;

re-reading the lines you used to write about her,

carving each fucking words

inside every shitty part

of her bones and tendons,

making every freaking words and lies

become a part of her being

and yet you left her--

thinking she was insane

reminiscing the moments she had with you

while you were there... sitting beside her.

A breathing, living asshole

staring at her

while sketching a woman you have yet to encounter

which made you decide to move on...

realizing how impossible it is

to spend forever with a stuck-up bitch

lost in her own world;

writing you songs and letters,

making you altars and pedestals

which can never be overwhelming

all because it's just fucking crazy

and that's when she lost you.

But it took her years to understand

you weren't the person she idealized,

the one she loved all these years

because fate has a funny twist:

You've never been hers in the first place...

so she learned it the hard way.

Then you start telling people stories

saying,

"That's how i lost her..."

But the truth you can not tell them

is the fact that you can not lost

someone you never claimed.

She lost herself instead.

~Joanna

O6-07-15