Crispin - Chapter 1

Jamie. There is so much to say about him. He’s been there from the start. He always helped me with schoolwork, my parents fighting all the time, my sister killing herself. You know, I feel like I've caused all the issues in my family. Ever since I told my sister that I felt like the world is crumbling down on me, it’s been hard. Mom and Dad found out, and that drove Veronica insane. That’s when we found her in her room with her face in her pillow with a note that had two words scribbled across it; I’m sorry. I’ve never in my entire life blamed Veronica for anything that has happened to me. But she had to deal with me. And when it all got too much, she fell, dropping the broken pieces of building and glass on me.

Mom called me from downstairs, telling me to get up for the eighth time already today. I stomped my foot on the floor, letting her know I was awake while I stretched. The mirror in my room reflected the thing I hated the most. My messy bed head. Sure, I hate myself, but I’ve never thought about killing myself, I don’t think so at least. After dressing in a cream-colored flannel and light blue ripped jeans, I faced the battle of my hair. This battle has been occurring since the day I could style it. Today, I lost the fight, my brunette curls winning against all seven of my brushes. Aunt Mollie got them all for me, saying that she once had to tame her hair. She hasn’t tamed it. Her hair looks like an angry Phoenix is resting on her head. Sure, it’s pretty sometimes but then you have to sit and question if she’s mentally stable enough to wear her hair the way she does.

My high tops tapped against the steps as I hopped down with my bag plopping onto the floor. Mom hurried over to the coffee pot, calling for it like a god. Dan, Mom’s husband, strode over to her with a smile, resting his hands on her hips. Love makes me sick. Chris ran down the stairs and jumped between them, saying he needed help with putting his shirt over his head. This kid, I swear. They ignored I existed of course and just gave him the attention he continued begging for. Dan put my thermal cup on the counter filled with my coffee. I only liked him because he’s pretty damn good at making my coffee. I chewed on the inside of my lip while walking down the street, thinking about my dream. For a long time, I’ve been having these dreams about someone with a blurry face just talking to me. I don’t know them; I don’t think so. The people in our dreams are just given faces of the people that we know.

Kids chased each other down the street, laughing and giggling at each other. I hate this peaceful and happy neighborhood. Music made me jump the second it blasted into my ears. The world stopped moving around me as I instantly got lost in the music. Fire burning in my thoughts and rain pouring in my eyes. I felt everything that wasn't happening. One More I Love You echoed in my head, making me close my eyes. This song, this damn song. I laughed while running across the street to reach the school parking lot. I wish I got one more, but sometimes not all of us are lucky enough for that. The second I turned my phone off, Riley came into my view, waving frantically. I slightly raised my hand, taking my headphones off. He messed up my hair, making me want to punch him. He laughed, putting his arm around my shoulder, pulling me along as he walked. This is the only thing I need in the morning. Riley.