Wishing for Contentment

I am so frustrated

that I never allow myself

a moment of peace.

When things are going so right,

I always have to mess it up

and get so anxious and worried

about false narratives

I weave for myself.

And for some ungodly reason,

I believe it every time.

I believe that people hate me,

when I have done nothing

to change the opinions of those around me.

I believe that I am not capable

of literally doing anything

when I have proven to myself

time and time again

that I can do whatever I set my mind to.

I believe that I am unworthy of love

even though I know that there are people out there

who love and respect me.

But for some reason,

I keep believing the lies

and I never get this moment of just being

content with myself.

That's all I want,

to be content with myself.