Hypocrisy and Safety

Mother,

you always say you want the best

for me,

you want me to be happy.

This time,

I did what you taught me to do

I knew what was hurting me,

and I knew how to fix it,

So I did.

I did what the best solution was

for my weighing dysphoria,

and you were furious.

Why must you yell every hour?

I feared for my life when I answered

Your call.

you yelled at me,

"WHY DID YOU DO THIS?"

"YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL!"

all I could manage to do was

sit there,

trembling and

crying.

I was horrified,

and for a minute, I honestly thought

I did something awful.

But their hug gave me safety and

comfort.

They showed me

it's better to be happy and piss someone off,

than be forever uncomfortable in your own body.

But Mother,

Why are you taking the only safety

I have?

You've taken enough.

You are less of a parent, and rather more of

My abuser.