Addict or Escapee

I'm an addict, I do this for euphoria, I love standing on the ecstasy line drawn across what is and what it should be,

I'm an escapee, every pill, every puff, every sip is a costume of acceptance that beautifies every broken edge of my self-esteem

I'm an addict, I wake up to the joyful feeling of transcending from a peasant to a king when the bud kicks in,

I'm an escapee, I go to bed every day wishing I didn't need a controlled substance to see the world as a safe place to live in

I'm an addict, the shape of my world is that of a tablet, the best way I see things is with smoke in the air and the only time I look good is when I see my reflection in a glass of alcohol,

I'm an escapee trying to escape from a reality where I have plenty of every hurt, heartbreak, and judgements from my flaws

I'm an addict, I wish the days were longer and each moment of faux happiness would last forever,

I'm an escapee, I'm always stuck in the moment, my mind is like an arsenal of self-esteem killing weapons, a library of unwanted memories I feel like holding a gun to my head and pulling the trigger each time I remember

I'm an addict, there's nowhere in the world I will rather be than swimming in a pool full of liquor doing my mary Jane stroke,

I'm an escapee, sometimes I wonder how many beautiful places I could be coming back home from every day other than a drug store, I wonder how things would be if my life didn't have anxiety and depression playing the leading role

I'm an addict, the pills I'm now encapsulated in is a prison and I don't wish to be free,

I'm an escapee, I'm scared of never finding freedom and peace if I let go of that which now has a hold on me

I'm an addict, I'm madly in love with intoxication,

I'm an escapee, I'm hooked on toxicity because I was madly in love

I'm an addict, I know no other way to live to the fullest other than living with my addictions, I wish each moment would last far longer, a little around forever,

I'm an escapee, I wish time would provide a better way to go around things but for now, I'm accustomed to solving my problems with a problem, I just keep fighting fire with more fire

I'm an addict, my addictions have grown to become the essence of my existence and all the vices of a damaged soul's humanity but still, I'm just an addict and that's what I'll be,

I'm an escapee, I just wanted an escape route from this pain, little did I know how deep this cut would go, looking back I wish I done more instead of giving in.