Sticks and Stones and Words (should people really be free to say anything?)

There is much talk these days about the freedom to say what you want. It's our inalienable right to speak our minds, they are only words, they can't hurt you.

In the 90s, I was in the U Fleků pub in Prague drinking a house-made beer. We had just been to the Old Jewish Cemetery and were discussing, in English, the experience while looking through the book I had purchased at the museum shop.

Into the crowded pub came two skinheads that sat down right next to us in the only available seats, and after glancing at the cover of the book began making disparaging and threatening comments in German about Jews. My boyfriend spoke to the waiter, in English, telling him that these guys were saying horrible things, and that, together with the glances we threw their way, let them know we could understand their words perfectly.

Thankfully, they left after only one drink.

Soon the vacant seats were filled by two American guys. We got to chatting and I told them about what had just happened. I expected them (naively in retrospect) to agree with our wish to have the skinheads confronted, or better, told to leave. Instead, I got a perplexed look, well, more than perplexed, an offended look. They have a right to say what they want, it’s freedom of speech, said the guy I was talking to.

Despite the fact that I grew up in the US, that was my first encounter with this interpretation. Maybe it’s because I grew up on the West Coast, maybe it’s because of my upbringing, but hitherto, my notion of freedom of speech was that you could criticize those in power without fear of persecution, not spewing out hate about others with impunity.

And all these years later, this freedom of speech argument/excuse has grown more apparent. Found in every comment section on the internet, I am thoroughly sick of it. Freedom of speech is being misused and abused.

If what you’re saying has the potential to reinforce marginalization and incite violence, then keep it to yourself. This isn’t censoring or inhibiting freedom of speech. It’s not fascism or extreme political correctness, it's disabling the spread of hate.

It's often the people most vocal about free speech that have something bigoted or racist to say or their opinions have connections to such things. And when people react, they claim they are being cancelled or controlled. So, they want the freedom to say anything, but no one can react? But people will react and that reaction can include telling you to stop. If you want to say nasty or outright horrible things about others, don't feign surprise that the bulk of society turns against you.

Furthermore, if what you are saying or doing aligns with Neo-Nazis, then you need to have a deep think about your actions while, if need be, promptly and publicly disavowing their presence.

But there are those who never seem to do this, instead they hide behind some vague excuse of innocence, dismissing it as nothing to do with them. Nope! If Neo-Nazi’s are drawn to you, or you find their presence in circles that you frequent (online or otherwise) then something is wrong. One should never align themselves with such a mentality for any reason unless you agree with it. There is no blurred line.

People should feel uncomfortable to voice hateful opinions. There should be unspoken taboos about what can be said and, for a time, there were. But steadily, these taboos are being broken. I’m well aware that the US imported Nazis into the country after WW2. I’m, of course, aware of America’s home grown white supremist, the KKK. I’ve seen the film American History X. Yet, when I was a kid it would have been unthinkable to see a brazen display of Nazi salutes in public. Worldwide, this mindset is becoming more visible online and on the streets.

Alas, this is a no win situation. Because if you “censure” people, it makes them likely want to say it more, empowering them with a sense of righteousness.

When does this "freedom of speech" become lies and slander? When does it become propaganda? When is it responsible for violence?

The version of the saying “Sticks and Stones” that I learned as a child ended with, 'but words will never hurt me'. I disagree. Imbued with the feeling of the speaker, words are mighty and can leave deep wounds and long lasting scars.

No matter how you learned that saying, either ending in words can or cannot hurt you, the question is, when do hateful words lead to sticks and stones?

And when will the speakers of these words admit to the hurt and potential violence they can cause. Be they potent innuendos or blatant hate.