I Saw Them Kiss!

The rough sand flows from my fingers to the warm ground as the yellow sun sifts through the purple clouds and I pray that this never ends. That the inevitable is postponed, yet again.

The hum of the wind, the song of the birds, the absence of company, the beauty of bliss. Yet my mind is still wandering to all the places better left unexplored. All the losses I can't seem to cut.

I still hear her faint whispers in my ear. How her heartbeat plays softly the music of life and how her eyes always betrayed her emotions, her joy to be with me. And I with her. Yet if I died it would have been for her.

For us. I listen to the beautiful birds. The aging sun, with the mellow confidence of art. I pray this never ends because if it does I might as well too. The wind now bears the smell of a lurking storm.

It lurks with all the demons needing to steal this art, this picturesque beauty that I pray never ends. My prayer goes unanswered, yet again. And the demons emerge, just like the lurking storm. Brave, merciless.

They bring me pain. And unearth my buried memories as a truce for stealing my art. I accept it just because it's all they offer and I remember those burning embers on her skin when she said she loved me with all her being.

How those red-as-crimson coals burned off her flesh, sizzling with every delight. Forcing tears from her eyes and curses from her mouth. The Women cursing back, and the men, holding me back, said 'Tomorrow, you're next.'

We should have known the chickens would come home to roost. Eventually.

She and I had a secret. One that would cost us everything. And one that we'd share at every chance we'd get. No one knew that when we held hands it was to tell each other 'I love you.' And when we hid from everyone else it was to share a kiss.

All they saw was two girls who just seemed sewn together.

As these waves are rising, I feel her breath slowly fading as my art did only moments ago.

Last night I took her hand in mine and asked if she feared what would happen if anyone else knew. Wouldn't they damn us if they found out? Worse yet, wouldn't they hand us to the Women?

And she stared into my eyes, firmly. Bravely, mercilessly. 'We will go tomorrow. Together. Where no one will find us, where the Women will never think to look. Just me and you.'

I believed her. And I trusted her prayer would be answered.

Then we kissed, shared more secrets and laughter and she told me about a dream she had where we sat on a low branch of a tall tree with nothing but bright red apples. The apples were the sweetest ones she'd ever eaten and they were everywhere. On the ground, some she stepped on, and even on her lap. She wanted the dream to be real. I wanted it to be real too.

Yet, those condemned demons were somewhere nearby and heard about our secret, burning mine and her world to the ground.

The night was awfully quiet when we returned. No one was there to scold us for running out again in the middle of the night.

'Where were you?' Someone asked just when I thought we'd be home scot-free. 'We were just playing. Out in the forest.' Said my love, perplexed at the sight of more village people emerging from the shadows, all bearing torches.

'I saw them kiss!' a child shouted from the gathering crowd and a man stepped forth echoing that it was true, that we sinned against god and the rule of sanctity. A vile act that we did. An insanity that would be corrected by us being mutilated and made into sane good women. A punishment reserved for horrible sins such as ours.

So the Women were summoned.

My hands grew cold but hers was still clasped in mine. I can still hear the noise and bellows of the people that cursed and spat, mocking our love, asking which one of us was the man. I looked towards her for the bravery I so desperately needed, but found something else. Satisfaction. Relief. Because she no longer had to hide anymore.

The tide keeps rising. The breeze is getting stronger and stronger and the waves keep roaring and gushing. Not much time is left.

The Women pulled us far apart, holding her down, asking that the fearless ones hold me back to witness what they do to transgressors. Fearless because touching sinners like us would very well taint you.

The red embers were brought, placed on her lap and the glistening blades pierced her skin as she moaned in pain and begged that it was only her fault. Never once did she apologize for loving me. In the pale moonlight, ours was tested in pain.

The sun caressed my skin when I dragged her out of her prison, a prison that would have housed me when it was my turn to beg for forgiveness as They humiliated me and punished me. Today is when we would have eloped had any odds been in our favor. To carry us to her dream where the sweet red apples lay everywhere. Where no one would find us. They would have left her to die miserably, alone. So I knew in my heart that she would rather die with me.

I grew exhausted, but just kept moving till she fell limp at this very place where I sit. Where my beautiful art once was.

And now she is slowly fading, her breath inching ever so close to silence from losing so much blood.

'Just go before they find you' She mutters quietly, her voice being drowned by the crashing waves in front of us. 'I'm not leaving you,' I tell her, needing to sound as brave as she always did for I know that it is only a matter of time till They find us.

I feel the demons yet again, pushing through the shadows, smelling our fear and hunting us like hounds.

Her eyes flutter weakly as she holds my hand and whispers, 'I love you' before growing still.

I see the torches heading to where we are. They are very close now and even in the pale moonlight I can see them thirsting for our blood, to cleanse it, to cleanse themselves.

They start running and I'm certain they've seen me.

I have no time to mourn my heart's death and I have no strength to carry her corpse to where They cannot find it. So I leave her a kiss and a prayer that she waits for me.

The ocean continues howling and calling out.

I move towards it and wait for the next wave carry me to my love, to where the sweet red apples are.