A Reflection on Bad Love

I only remember

the silly little fragments

of the way we were.

The sock hung on the door

To the scandal of our neighbors

The polaroid camera

The key to that first apartment.

A little hole in the wall

The headquarters to our conspiracies.

The books on Marx

Because you fancy yourself a socialist.

Your boyish charm

And smile that could win an award

Turned so easily into a weapon

Always used against me.

I'd greet you with warmth

Each Sunday I'd dine

With your pretentious friends.

You'd bow to their opinions.

But never lower yourself

To meet mine.

You’d never stick to just me

Your options abundant

Too wild for a chain, you’d say.

For every fight, I'd write a treaty

I'd give you my charity

I always fought for peace.

What part of me

Did I not devote to you?

You were rational

Cold.

You always made me feel crazy

And emotional.

Like a child.

I kept cutting out parts of myself

To fit with you

I hate the me I became.

I cried on the cold tile floor

When you left

I was too close

To realize it was a blessing.