Precipice

They had paused along the trail so she could take a picture of an interesting-looking cactus.

“Momma, take MY picture!”

She turned to see her child. She looked into his sweet face, his guileless eyes the color of shadowed moss. Though already a voracious reader at age five, he still lacked the dexterity required to tie his shoes correctly. Her heart leaped at the sight of him; he was her joy in this world.

Within the same heartbeat, realization dawned and she gasped in abject horror. She could feel noises coming from her throat-- but could hear nothing but the loud and rapid swoosh of her pulse suddenly filling her ears. The camera dropped from her hands. Time had stopped.

Her son stood on a narrow, rocky outcrop, his back to the cliff. His small hands clasped before him in expectation of a photo and his shoelaces were in their usual spaghetti-like pieces at his feet. Cold dread filled her as she realized any self-adjustment of his pose would most certainly be fatal.

She lunged toward him with all her might, frenzied and grasping at the zippered front of his coat. The force rocked his little body backward and his arms began to windmill. At the very last second, she managed to connect with enough fabric and forcefully yank his body to hers.

She sank to her knees with him in her arms, suddenly wanting to be as close to the dusty ground as possible. She sobbed and kissed him, trembling in the fear of what had almost been. Her momentary distraction had nearly cost him his life.

The nightmares began immediately. Horrible visions that the coat zipper failed and he fell from her grasp. The worst dreams were the ones where she inadvertently pushed him in her panicked attempt to grasp him— that her very efforts had doomed him.

Years later, the nightmares have returned. Her calls rejected, and her texts ignored. Much time passes with no word from her beloved son. She fears that he is out there in the world, the culmination of his poor choices heaped at his feet. He is standing precariously on the precipice of eternity and try as she might, she cannot save him this time.