Pain

Content Warning: Needles ( Specifically piercings. No extreme detail) and abortion.

I used to have a horrid pain tolerance, now it is decent I would say. I do not know when my pain tolerance changed however, I think it may have changed when I got my abortion. Before my abortion, I was slowly building up my pain tolerance in a way. Not in an extreme way, more of zoning out so I would not pay attention to the pain. I was not prepared for the amount of pain my abortion would be. Of course, it would be painful I knew that. A part of me was physically getting ripped out so I knew the pain would be beyond hell. The pain went from 0 to 100 in five minutes. After this event, my pain tolerance grew. I have been thinking about this because I got my nipples pierced 10 days ago and it did not hurt. I had a needle stabbed through my nipple ( as you know one of the most sensitive places) and I did not flinch. Yes, it hurt but it was like pinching your finger. In a way I was hoping that it would be painful, I wanted to feel something besides the emotional pain I have been going through for years on end. No, I did not get the piercing as a mental breakdown or a way to SH. I have wanted these for years now. I am happy I got them done, even though I did not feel the pain I thought and was hoping to feel. In reality, I might be wanting the physical pain however, I could just be wanting a distraction from the emotions I am going through all the time.