Pizza

My username is the culmination of my first name initial and last name. Despite not being online, I can feel people rolling their eyes.

Knowing that Prince Charming doesn’t exist-I chose a more practical way of choosing a mate to forever define my name. The criteria was that he either cooks masterfully or that he have a last name that I could easily use to order pizza. My maiden name was so time-consuming when having to give over the phone, and I hate cooking.

Despite his ill-temper, Gordon Ramsey fit the bill, but was already married.

I settled for Garrett. Yes, Ga-two R’s-e-two T’s. Voila, everything in life sped up and pizzas could be easily ordered, (obviously pizza trumped cooking). It is now my identity (and also secured with appropriate software and identity theft measures).

I prefer to not hide behind cleverly constructed usernames (which is the excuse I use for not being very imaginative).

Having recently become single, I am now an advocate for change. Therefore and ergo, I am in the process of changing my name to Keanu Reeves. It still has excellent pizza ordering efficiencies with the added hope that the real Keanu would someday be curious enough to track down someone who has his exact same name, show up at my doorstep, and take me out for pizza.

Till then, it will take time and money to change my name, (and I am lazy and poor). BGarrett is the name- totally exposed, naked, and enjoying my pizza.