Grandiousprickitis: The Disease Worse Than Gonorrhea
Okay, so normally I wouldn't care much about what the Budweiser beer company does. It is my last choice in beer and I've always assumed Budweiser was German for, "Kaiser Piss." Surprisingly, this most domesticated of beers has taken a brave stance and made a transgender person a part of their advertising. Not surprisingly, the result of this inclusive add campaign is that it has ushered in a state of near pandemonium amongst many of those with a more conservative bent. Let's be clear here. This is an ad campaign. It is not an attempt to indoctrinate anyone into anything. From the reaction of many conservatives, it seems that they expect a paramilitary group of LBGTQA members to swoop in and lure these, "Good Traditional Christian Men and Women" into becoming, oh no, ONE OF THEM by exposing them to an endless loop of Will and Grace reruns and Judy Garland records!
Of course this is absurd, but it is just one symptom of a disease that has hit our country lately. No, it's not COVID and its not an especially nasty strain of antibiotic resistant gonorrhea, no it's a new disease aptly, named Grandiose-Prickitis, or GP for short. What are the symptoms you ask? Well, this is a new disease, so there is still much to learn, but thus far GP's symptoms include:
1. Holding to a somewhat unattainable standard which dictates sex is only between a man and a woman, not to be engaged in before marriage, and is a messy, sticky, shameful part of procreation that the couple should seek immediate forgiveness immediately after engaging in the horizontal bop. Of course, sex should also only be had after Bible study, in the dark, and the missionary position is the only remotely acceptable position, thus its name.
2. The belief that there is zero, zip, zilch, nada variation in gender even though gender fluidity is well documented and has existed in the animal kingdom since before we learned to walk erect.
3. The delusional belief that they are 100% sure that their beliefs about human sexuality is correct and it is their God given duty to condemn anyone whose beliefs don't line up with their stick up their ass belief system (the stick up their ass also being a no-no as foreign objects don't belong in the marital bed).
4. The belief that members of the LBGTQA community are incapable of offering anything beneficial to society.
An example of GP symptom presentation can be found in the fact that many conservatives recently got their totally holy and therefore totally unexciting britches tied in knots because drag queens were reading stories to children at the library (and looked FAB-U-LOUS while doing it). Of course, afraid that this would somehow usher in the apocalypse, they through a fit and demanded that the library be boycotted until it no longer allows drag queens to read to children. What is the problem here? They aren't handing out Camp Drag Queen brochures to the kiddos. In fact, many of the kiddos may not have a clue as to the nature of the kind person who is reading them a story at all. They're just happy to be read, "Green Eggs and Ham." As a social worker who serves developmentally delayed kiddos from 0-5 year old, I cannot count how many times I have asked a parent about story time and they admit to not reading to their kids at all. So, as far as I'm concerned, every library needs a drag queen story time because EVERY kid deserves to be read to. If mom and dad won't do it, someone should, and who better than the kind and generous (and once again FAB-U-LOUS) drag queens who understand the importance of reading to children.
It all comes down to this. Those who suffer from Grandiose-Prickitis have no right to run another person's life. They have not been given license to condemn people because they don't agree with how they live. Most importantly, those with GP should never be allowed to hinder or stop the good works of others just because they are different. So, I salute Budweiser and its ad campaign. Kuddos! But I still won't be drinking your beer.