Wren-Alfok

"Please, help yourself to anything you want."

"I... No, no, that's not necessary. This is meant to be a temporary stop."

"You're much too old to be travelling so far."

"I do have magic on my side."

"Yes, but... Oh."

"Wha- ah. You've seen them, then?"

"Sir... Are you... Were you... I don't understand. That magic is forbidden. It's outlawed, it's certainly among the most dangerous classifications of our craft."

"I agree. Completely. So what then, child? Will you throw me out? Take me to the council? Or better yet, kill me now to save them the trouble of doing so themselves? I'm too old to run, my bones too brittle. Besides. I don't want to escape my fate, either way."

"I'm not doing any of that. You hold no malice in your eyes, sir. I've been wrong before but... I'm not about this."

"But-"

"You're tired. You can rest here. And then you can continue on your journey. Whatever it is you plan to do... I will not stop you. I suppose I'd just like to know why. What was it that led you down such a path? Love, money or revenge?"

"The thought that one could attribute crime and murder - well, the momentary reverse of - to one or more of three simple factors is utterly ridiculous-"

"Sir, which was it?"

"...the first."

"Ah. I can remember the first time I thought to attempt necromancy. There was this bird that built a nest right outside my window. I used to watch her from afar... The mother and her babies. But one day, she left. And they both... Passed away. Abandoned. I used to imagine raising them as my own, my personal magical crows like Odin's. They were mere pigeons of course but a girl can dream- ah, so you can laugh!"

"I'm human. Even through the greatest of sorrows, we are capable of it. An attempt to alleviate suffering. It has been a long time since I have... And the weight has not shifted but it did for a moment. So thank you."

"Will you tell me about her? The... The person you loved? Or was it a family member? I just want to know what happened-"

"Curiosity will get you killed. It's what led me down this wretched path. But you are young... One should always practise folly as a child. That's what those years are there for. To learn. But some fools do grow old and never mature. It took me decades to finally realise that... That I couldn't save him. And by then, it was too late."

"Who was he?"

"My lover. We used to be brothers. In the sense of a friendship that transcended mere platonic love. We thought of ourselves as family. I didn't know that there would be more to it until he kissed me under an apple tree in his family orchard, the stars above our only witness. I remember he had this hideous acne. We were teenagers, then. He would have become a fine young man. Sometimes, I imagine the roughness of his skin replaced by that of a warm beard. We could have grown old together, him and I."

"..."

"Are you surprised that I speak of a man?"

"No. I am surprised you speak of him so... Easily."

"I am too old to care about the outdated sneers people give those like me. The blame is not on me for loving a man but on them for hating what they could never understand. Will you be throwing me out now, then?"

"You... Are like me. I've... I... There was a girl. I've liked a few before but she... What I had with her... It was unrequited but it truly cemented my feelings. I could no longer run away from that piece of who I was. And I did not want to. I would have done anything for her... Given her the sun if she asked for it."

"You are lucky, then. To have experienced this love of yours one-sided. There is pain to loving and being loved. One you don't see until too late. Not until you are holding the body of your lover in your arms and you both realise that you are to be ripped away from each other. The pain for you was singular. Heartbreaking, yes, but singular. But that love of mine. He knew he was the cause of the pain in my eyes, just as I knew I was the cause of his. And so our pain doubled. We shattered each other at the very end. A wonderful few years was all we had but we utterly destroyed each other by choosing to risk our hearts like that, so openly and freely. It was a heart attack. Sudden. No foul play. He was gone before I could blink. I listened to it slow in his chest as I tried to keep him from falling apart... I felt his hand go still in mine. The eyes still haunt me. I will never forget the eyes."

"I... I am so sorry."

"No. I am. Because after I lost him, I made the mistake of wanting him back too desperately. Desperately enough to do the unthinkable because... What wouldn't a person do for a love like that? My experiments began. I can't tell you how many lives I had to bring back and then take because they had lost their humanity. But I was determined to bring my lover back, mind and soul. Depraved young fool. I isolated myself from all and devoted years to this evil, long-forgotten craft. People gave up on trying to find me. His family never got his body back - never got to bury their son. Because I had to be selfish. I told myself I was the only one hurting. That I needed him.

I would spend so many nights crying up to heaven or cursing hell, searching for him. I called upon every god of life and death that I knew, hoping to perhaps be granted a conversation. Just one word from him and I would have been okay. But the world stayed silent. And I remained devout in my desire. Finally, I did it. I brought back a young boy. He began to call for his mother, sobbing as he did so. I found him to be the perfect subject until he feasted on some of the remains of bodies I had collected over so many moons, then tried to eat me. The look in his eyes as I ended him - that should have been enough to stop me. But I felt victorious. I'd brought a person back, memory intact. Surely, my love would remember me. Surely, he would hold himself back from desiring my flesh if I fed him the dead. How do you think this story ends, child?"

"...in tragedy."

"Yes. Yes. Good. I'm sure you can imagine some what comes next. Let me fill in the rest with the truth. I resurrected my love. His memory and speech weren't coming back too easily but I strapped him down and tortured him with my little tools of remembrance. He screamed. So many times, he screamed. But I put myself first. After all, I'd seen the look in his eyes moments before he died. The man loved me. He would remember that. I just had to drive him to the brink of madness so he could see that. So he could see me. Be mine, again. If I was so desperate to look into his eyes, I should have taken my life before I ever began the craft. If I had... I wouldn't have had to watch the light leave his eyes for a second time, in an even more horrific way.

I was running out of bodies. And I was putting him through an unthinkable amount of pain. All this, I thought, for his sake. For ours. This is what kept me from seeing behind the veil over my eyes. My beloved had enough one night. He broke free. Hungry. And full of rage. He suddenly spoke word after word, triggered by all I had put him through. His memory was returning. But I could not focus on that. I was horrified. Hearing my actions through his lips... How could I have... But I did.

I should have just let him kill me. But a survival instinct that should have been in ruins took over me. My knife ripped through flesh and muscle. Sank into his chest. And that was the moment he truly saw me. Me. The man he'd loved for so long. He didn't have to say a word. I could see it all in his eyes. The eyes still haunt me. I will never forget the despair. The shock and horror - betrayal burned beneath his gaze. And yet, the last thing he ever did was touch my face ever-so-softly and whisper my name with the lightness of a breeze. And then he was gone."

"I... What was his name?"

"Wren."

"And yours?"

"Alfok. It's been a long time since I had to say it. I've been living in a strange state ever since. Punishment for my crimes, I suppose. I'm not usually in control of my body. I wake up in flashes, find myself in a new place, think of him and disappear into a fog again. But I feel this will soon be over. I believe my sentence is almost served. This hell in earth. I have deserved every moment of it. And yet... As terrified as I am, I still hope to see him again once this is all over. Strange. Isn't it?"

"No. No, sir. You loved him. And despite your likely disregard for what I'm about to say... I believe the man loved you all over again in this final moments. Despite everything, what he said and did with his last breath proves that it was not all malice there. And you did not practice this dark art with malice, either. You caused many pain, him included but you must understand that you cannot blame yourself forever. Even he doesn't."

"...Kindness. You hear of my deeds and choose to say this? I did not expect compassion to be the reaction of the person I would tell my story. And yet, here you are. What a strange creature. What a strange creation humanity is. I find I regret so much and yet nothing at all in these last moments of mine."

"What do you mean, sir?"

"Nevermind it, dear child. I hear the people of this town sing praises in your name. You have done much to help them. I have spent my life since his time on earth causing only destruction. These were naught but the babbles of a madman. Remember me that way. A crazy fool overtaken by brief or prolonged spells of pure lunacy. This is the man I have been. Love is a dangerous risk to take, yet rather impossible to resist once it rakes root in your soul. And as wretched as my life has been, I do not regret knowing Wren. I would do it all again if it means experiencing those early blissful years with him, taken away much too soon. You are the first and last person I will ever speak to on this earth. It was made this way for a reason. I thank you for your ear, kind one."

"Why does it sound like you're... Going away?"

He didn't reply. Instead, he kissed my forehead and retired to my guestroom for the night. He was gone by the morning, perished in his sleep. I can only hope it was a peaceful journey. I can only hope he went home to his lover. Once the community was stable enough, I turned my magic to other projects, my favourite being the great tree in the middle of the town which I named after them. Wren-Alfok. Sometimes I see them there, laying down side by side, gazing at the clouds or dancing their hearts out together. They seem free... I hope it's true.