Tuesday

"Tag! You're it!"

I tagged Kya. Kya tagged Lizzie. Lizzie agged Me. I tagged Zach. Zach tagged Lizzie. Lizzie tagged Kya.

"You can't get me!"

"Oh I will! You'll see I will!"

"Can we go outside?" Zach asked.

"But it's Tuesday."

"I know."

"We play with Kya on Tuesdays."

"Please?"

"Fine."

We left the old fitness center Zach and Kya's mom worked at. I made my way to the swing ad sat. I was 8 years old. I didn't bother hiding my disdain for the situation. I didn't bother trying to have fun. I sat in the swig and pouted.

It's Tuesday. We should be playing with Kya.

"Why can't we just do what I want?"

"It's Tuesday."

"I know."

"We get to hang out with you every day! We only get to hang out with Kya on Tuesday!"

I didn't understand at the time how easily siblings could be separated. Kya and Zach were siblings. I could only ever have both.

And I didn't understand how easily it was for us to be separated. They would always be there. I would always have them both. I would always have Zach, and for this month, I would have Kya on Tuesdays. Which is why we agreed to do what she wanted on Tuesdays.

"Not anymore."

I didn't understand. I didn't hear what my brother was telling me. Not really.

"It's Tuesday."

"I know."

He sighed.

"We should be inside. We promised to play with Kya on Tuesday."

"I know. Let's go inside."

I leaped off of the swing and ran for the Fitness center.

"Who's It?"

.........................................................

It's hard not to call him my brother.

"I didn't know you had a brother!" They'd exclaim with surprise when I let something slip.

"I...I don't."

I haven't seem him since I was eight. I'm not related to him. He's not my brother.

I asked his mom how he was doing. I talk to Kya. Kya wants nothing to do with him. His mom says he has a boyfriend.

He graduates highschool next year. I texted him three times on whatsapp. I dream about him.

He doesn't recognize me in the dreams. I don't think he'd recognize me now. What would I say?

"Remember me? Charlie? I also moved out of the neighborhood. Not as far as you did. I have a new dad now. I also have a new little sister. Are you thinking about college?"

I don't know what he'd say.

"Oh! Charlie! Wow. Cool. Yeah. FIU. Can you believe it?"

"how are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm alright. Busy. I have a band performance soon..."

"Yeah? Cool. Keep in touch. Bye."

And then maybe we'd talk after that. Maybe not.

Strange how quickly things change.