Aunt Fanny

(For our friend, Ruby, from Mali and Michelle)

Aunt Fanny is a fussy, funny person

with her frizzy, fuzzy hair

and her super-spotless manners,

she's really quite the character.

Well, one day, dear Aunt Fanny

was frying eggs in a pan,

and with one flick of her wrist,

she sent those eggs a-flying.

Up, up those fried eggs flew

and finally stick to the ceiling.

Dear funny old Aunt Fanny

didn't know what in the world she was doing.

She looked around and about

for those little ol' fried eggs.

Finally she looked up and...PLOP!

They fell right onto her face.

They covered her eyes

so she couldn't see a thing.

She groped about and started to shout,

"Dearie me! Who turned the lights out?"

She limped around the kitchen,

knocking away pots and pans.

She dashed into the living room

to find a helping hand.

"Aunt Fanny!" I cried,

gazing with amazement

at the egg-eyed lady before me.

"Yes, it's me!" screeched poor Aunt Fanny.

I swiftly set to work

on those troublesome fried eggs.

I pulled, and pried, and tried

to get them off her face.

At last, with much effort,

and a little bit of muscle,

the eggs popped off her face,

but that wasn't the end of the trouble.

Aunt Fanny took a tumble.

She fell backwards on her...well, you know...fanny,

and she let out scream of surprise

as her hands shot up to rub her aching eyes.

Now to this very day,

dear Aunt Fanny doesn't fry her eggs.

She'd really rather eat them raw

than get another eyeful of shame.