Hard Hard Road

I’ve walked a hard, hard road

full of heartache and suffering

like a wrench twisting your soul,

a screwdriver driving into your mind,

a hammer to the head,

a vice shrinking you in on yourself,

an implosion of sweat and blood.

I’ve walked through a rain of drugs and bullets,

floods of alcohol,

a hail of pills,

blizzards of cocaine,

guns pointed at my head in the ghetto

as I try to find my next fix,

my next drink,

my next night of poison ecstasy.

I’ve walked through car wrecks of heartbreak,

the mangled bodies of rejection,

flashing light ambulances of loneliness,

lying alone in hospital beds

beneath fluorescent white lights

with nobody but myself

and my jagged metal mind

to keep me company.

I’ve walked past Jersey wall prison cells,

past cops pointing guns at my head,

shouting threats and shaking fists,

through bullies and bar fights,

with me coming out limping,

bruised and bloody,

and dropping unconscious in the gutter.

I’ve walked through traffic jams of insanity,

the long hours of depression

when time slows down to a standstill

as you wait for life

to stop passing you by,

the fiery explosions of mania,

the backfires and blasts of PTSD,

dreams of blood and death and darkness.

I’ve walked through the daily doldrums of the city,

a wife and family in the suburbs,

a dream that melted into shadow before it started,

and left me clamoring after four young kids,

trying to keep our heads above water,

trying to keep us all alive

as depression and exhaustion set in,

leaving me a shell of numbness

going through the motions.

I’ve walked a hard, hard road

of concrete and rock

full of potholes

to knock you out of alignment,

full of spikes

to shred your tires,

full of oil slicks

to send you crashing into trees.

And I’m hard, hard like iron,

sharp as steel swords,

with the green eyes of a hawk,

the ears of a cat,

the song of a wolf

howling at the silver midnight moon,

and if I’m being prepared for something,

I’m ready for anything.

And if I see you walking beside me,

I’ll give you some water,

reach out a helping hand;

I’ll carry you on my back if I have to

and I’ll never leave you behind

and I’ll never let you go

because we all have to walk

this hard, hard road.