I’m Keeping Busy

I may have gone a bit insane

He left and my mind exploded

I'm a walking corpse, an empty shell

My life seems to have imploded

I can't stand being still, I must move

I do all that I can to stay distracted

When I'm still, his image takes charge

As if he were here, no longer retracted

He doesn't want to see, but he knows

A girl like me is an unfixable mess

Which is why I'm getting high at 5 am

Ignoring the stain on last nights dress

This glass pipe is taking me up

These pills I snort will take me low

I'll sprinkle pill powder on my rocks

I mix highs until I feel that glow

My body is tingling but also asleep

But my heart is blissfully numb

I feed my body with pleasures of flesh

My brain is starving, it's silent and dumb

I met a stranger late last night

Reckless - I walked into his hotel room

Fuck me or kill me, whatever you want

Either way bring me closer to my doom

I chug from this bottle, fuck a glass

My stomach churns with the liquid fire

Courage in a bottle, empower me now

I consume all I can to take me higher

The hands on my body are not his

Hands deliver pleasure and sometimes pain

If I close my eyes, its him inside me

Behind my high, I feel his love again

I spark up this joint, I inhale deep

I feel the tension in my muscles ease

The couch cushions are swallowing me

I swallowed last night on my knees

At last exhausted, I've been up for 4 days

Finally, my body succumbs to sleep

I'll be in a coma for the next 18 hours

You can't help me, I'm in too deep

I'll wake up confused, looking for him

I'm constantly searching, but he's never found

Instead it's new dick, and chasing my high

One of these, please put me in the ground