i wish i could have said hello

i wish i could have said hello,

because goodbye would mean that i spent time with you,

but time had another track to run,

and took a hard leap into a parallel universe,

leaving me without you,

just stillness and an empty womb.

you never got to hear me say how proud i was of you,

or yes i will hang this masterpiece on the refrigerator,

and you never got to hear me cheer you on

as you rotated the pedals on the bicycle with no training wheels for the first time

and you never got to hear me say goodnight sweetheart

or everything is going to be okay

or i love you,

i love you

i love you,

because i never even got to say hello in the first place.

#poetry #brokenwomanhood #infertility #desolatewomb #geekslutnerdgirl #miscarriage