Chapter 4

I was on the third floor mezzanine, overlooking the foyer, when I heard her.

"Stephen! Yoo-hoo! Stephen! Down here!" I stepped closer to the railing and looked down. She was waving, "Could you come down, Stephen?! Oh, never mind! I'll come up to you!"

She headed to the east wing staircase. I headed down the hall to meet her. I'd barely reached the stairs when she came bounding up. "Holy cow! You must have flown up those stairs!"

"I've had a lot of practice."

"Well, you're quite good at it. What can I do for you?"

"Um... if you're not busy later, I was actually wondering if you'd like to do something with me, not so much for me."

"Sure, what did you have in mind?"

"Pedal boats."

She certainly took me by surprise. "Pedal boats? Like... down at Clausen Pond?"

"Do you want to?"

"I have to admit, I've never tried it."

"Why not? It's so much fun!"

"I've never even gone down there--I heard there was some kind of accident and they shut the whole thing down. Are you sure they're still in business?"

"That's awful. I never heard that. We have to go find out for sure!"

"Uhhh... okay! I guess so, then."

"It's going to be so much fun! Can we go now? Let's go! I mean... if you're not busy."

"Actually..."

"Remember, I'm a guest. You can't say no to me."

"I really hadn't thought about it like that, but... I guess you're right."

"Yes!"

"Right now?"

"Yes, Stephen, right now. That would be perfect!"

Father's car was a '73 Oldsmobile. She (the Olds) spent her days in the parking garage off the west wing, in the rear of the hotel. On our way by the lobby, I took the opportunity to let Mrs. Teague know I'd be gone for a few hours. She wasn't happy about it, though I didn't know why.

"What if I need you for something? Where can I reach you?"

"Mrs. Teague, I don't know exactly when I'll be back, but you've managed this long without me. I'm sure you'll make it through this time."

We drove down Main Street to highway 20, then started heading east when I told her I had no idea how to get there.

"It's that way," she said confidently. And that way it was. She led us right to it. I couldn't see a thing when she tried to point it out to me, but when we came nearer, it became quite clear that the boats were still ready for action. There were no other cars in the weedy lot, so I parked close to the water, in a space that would keep her dress from dragging too many weeds. Most of it was just unkempt grass. A John Deere and a Brush Hog would have done it a world of good.

Clint Clausen was sitting at the near end of a narrow wooden dock leading out over the shallow water where the pedal boats were lined up, anxiously awaiting their captains. He was perched on a folding chair, a twisted black cane across its arms, wearing an exaggerated sea captain's hat and a pirate's patch over his right eye.

"Toe the beaches, mates! We've got a live one here! Make ready the fleet for a captain bound fer the seven seas!"

We stepped up to the dock and the folding chair as two boys came running from their fortress among the shrubs and bushes nearby.

"How may we be of service to you this fine day, good sir?"

"Well, we would like to rent one of your fine vessels this day."

"We would, would we? Well, I think we have the choice of the entire fleet this fine afternoon. Ye may take yer pick."

Looking down the dock, I saw an impressive array of, not one, but, two quaint little pedal boats.

"Old Blue has a history of mid-pond mechanical failures and daring at-sea rescues, providing a lifetime of heroic, unforgettable memories. Red Hope has the current record for speed and heroic rescues of, not just passengers, but also, captains who set sail on Old Blue."

I looked down the dock again at the selection, "So... what are the choices again?"

"Stephen, I like the red one."

"The Red Hope, please, my good man."

"An excellent choice, Sir. She's the fastest in the fleet... depending..."

"Depending on what?"

"Eh...," he winked and tapped my shins with his thin cane. "Nothing. Never mind. Boys! Ready the Red Hope!" he yelled without warning. "Stay out as long as ye please. It's forty pence every quarter-hour."

"Oh. That's uh..."

"Five bucks every fifteen minutes."

"Right! I knew that."

He winked again, "Of course, Sir. She's a real beauty, lad. Enjoy yer voyage." He watched us proceed down the dock. "She's the second on the right! Ye can't miss her!"

She walked ahead of me, anxious for the trip. It struck me again, just then--this would be a lot less awkward if I at least knew her name, and the more time that passed without knowing, the more awkward it would be when I finally asked. I was about to ask when she spun around and spoke first, "Thank you for doing this with me, Stephen. That guy was so funny!"

"I think he had something in his eye."

"I think he was sweet. Come on!" she wheeled back around and dashed toward the proud fleet. I gave chase--still not knowing her name.

We spent almost an hour tooling around on Clausen's little pond, admiring fish, turtles, and various waterfowl. The weather was about as perfect as one could ask for--a warm day, clear skies, only a little breezy for my liking, but it kept the mosquitos at bay. I took a few bites nonetheless. She didn't seem bothered by them, so I didn't complain.

"It looks like Mr. Clausen packed it in for the day. I guess I can come back around tomorrow to get him paid up."

"You're a good man, Stephen. He sees it just as I do. Even if you didn't come back around, he'd consider it a worthy contribution."

"Well, I appreciate that, but it's not the kind of practice that's going to keep him in business very long. Most folks that do business in Sharon Springs are just passing through. Coming back around isn't always an option."

"Something tells me he isn't doing it for the money. I bet he does this because it's in his heart."

We tethered the Red Hope to the dock, just as we'd found it, and I noted the time to make sure of how much I owed him. Looking back into the clever craft, I inspected to make sure we'd left nothing behind.

"Why haven't you tried to kiss me?"

I turned to her, not knowing what to expect. "Are we on a date?"

"Well, no, but should that stop you?"

"I think it should, yes. You seem a proper lady. What kind of gentleman would take advantage of lady in the middle of a pond?"

"Take advantage? Stephen, it's just a kiss."

"Yes, but it's a widely known fact that kisses on pedal boats inevitably turn into things that are not just kisses."

"Ooh... what kinds of things?"

"Things that a gentleman ought not discuss with proper ladies on a pedal boat."

"Stephen?"

"Yes?"

"We're not on a pedal boat. We're on a dock."

"Uh, yes. Yes, we are."

She looked back along the deck to where the folding chair had been, then turned back to me with a playful grin. "So, what kinds of things happen?"

"Oh, well, then the gloves would really come off," I bantered.

"Well! They're coming off if they're coming off," she volleyed, actually taking off her silky black gloves. "So, what would happen once the gloves were off?"

"Um... well, your buttons on your waistcoat would get loosened up."

"Undone?"

"Yeah, like undone."

"Like this?"

Oh my. I felt my heartbeat immediately begin to launch. Every sentence required an operation to extract it from my throat, "Yes, exactly."

"Both of them?"

"Oh, yes. The other one too."

"Then what?"

"Then... that belt buckle would open."

"Oh... like this?"

"Yes, yup, that's exactly..."

"Then what?"

"Well, then there'd be more kissing..."

"I like kissing."

"And then that would lead to more things..."

"Like what, Stephen?"

"Okay, um... well, whatever's underneath that waistcoat would definit... ooookay, there's nothing underneath that waistcoat."

"And all these things happen just because people kiss on a pedal boat?"

"Yup. It's a well-documented..."

"Widely known..."

"A widely known fact."

She took two steps by me and stepped back onto the Red Hope, looked up at me from under that giant hat, with her coat dangling open like theater curtains drawn open to the main show.

"Hey!" a woman's voice called from the distance, "What are you doing?! You can't be here!"

"She sounds mad. You'd better come out of there."

She was already scrambling back out, "She sounds really mad! Let's get out of here!" she laughed.

We high-tailed it back up the dock and into the Oldsmobile, throwing gravel and laughing hysterically as the old woman came scurrying toward us as fast as her legs would allow. We were hollering out the windows as the Olds tore down the dirt drive, "Woo-hoo!" she screamed and laughed some more. I just looked at her and smiled.

"What? What are you looking at?"

"You."

"Why?"

"Because there's nothing else in the whole world I'd rather do."

"Well, you better spare a moment to look toward the road."

The tires on the Olds skidded to a halt, throwing a cloud of dust into the wind and across highway 20 as a lone eighteen-wheeler came barreling through, blaring its air horn to help imprint on my brain how close I came to being reduced to a smear that gorgeous afternoon. We looked at each other and laughed like there was something wrong with us.

"Where to, my lady?"

"I think we'd better get back to the hotel before we get lost."

"I think you're right."

As we pulled into the parking garage, I was tongue tied--terrified to say something stupid, and even more terrified of not saying anything at all.

"I think pedal boats are my new favorite thing."

She smiled coyly, "Mine too, almost."

"Almost."

"I always show up a day early, and I always seem to stir up trouble one way or another. I'm glad I... almost stirred up trouble with you, Stephen."

I came around to open her door. "You're a day early? What, exactly, is it that brings you to Sharon Springs?"

"Nothing much. I'm just here a couple days for my fiancé's stupid family reunion."

"Oh."

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