Time

It's been months and I hate that I can't tell him I don't feel safe here. Last night I had a nightmare and stood in his room, waiting for him to realize I was there. I kissed him. Why would I kiss him? Of all fucking things, I kissed him.

~

Cal pulls away, his hand resting on my cheek. I press my forehead against his and sigh. He chuckled and hugged me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Tears fall out of my eyes quickly and I drench his shoulder. Cal pulls me away and laughs.

"It's fine. Hey, hey. It's fine. I get it." He laughs again, making me laugh. When we went home that night, he let me sleep beside him. When he fell asleep, I listened to his breathing for the longest time, until I fell asleep.

~

SHE KISSED ME! SHE KISSED ME! When she fell asleep, I just wanted to kiss her again. It's that urge to just kiss someone back but when they say sorry it's a sign to not. So I didn't. I just hugged her for a bit. She slept with me that night and I was fine with it.

Maybe this is okay. Maybe we can be okay.