The Adventures of Geo Beane: Day 13 of Renovations

Mnrrgh.

Humphrey left me alone at the new house today.

"Gosh darn it, Geo Beane I forgot something important at home," he said patting his shirt pockets and pants pockets to confirm. Note, we don't yet call this place "home." Home is of course where you rest your head at night.

"Sit tight, and no mischief," said Humphrey giving me the evil eye, and pointer finger, I can't imagine why. My stomach turned at the sight of him pulling out of the carport, down the short concrete drive, in our silver SUV.

I patrolled the downstairs. I checked on the progress of the floors. Really beautiful. Humphrey did a fantastic job with the gold stain, which now shone subtly at certain angles. He had gotten down two coats of varnish that added depth to the tone of the humble particle board. It was a satin finish, so the sheen was soft to the sight, but polished.

I could see that he had not yet painted the half bath downstairs. In fact, except for the ceiling in the foyer, he had not painted down here at all. I skipped up the long green stairs to see how the rest of the renovation was going. It was going very well. He even had started pulling up some of the carpet. The long hallway was almost fully painted, though I could see where he was struggling with ceiling... two bedrooms walls were done... the full bath was well underway although the ceiling was not yet touched, the walls needed just one more coat...

Rattle. Chink. Tap. Rattle. Crr...!!

My heart near stopped and my short little legs wobbled under me. That was not my Humphrey returning. That was the sound of somebody trying to get at the front door, which we never use as entry/ exit. You know, the one with the feeble sheet of 1/8" glass, just ready to be shattered and broken into...

I jelloed to the top of the stairwell. There was no one at the door as far as I could see.

Maybe the open windows are playing stereo games with me? I tiptoed to the windows on the street side. Raised myself on hind feet and peered out cautiously leaning on the ledge. Nothing. I became keenly aware that our Drummer boy next door had stopped playing. I couldn't recall how long ago. I wondered suddenly just how alone am I in this neighborhood where there is nobody that I know??? It was too soon to expect Humphrey.

Tap. Tap. tap. rattle. Rattle. . .

By now I was of course picturing Gunther, returning to his old haunts to instill the fear of Dog into residents old and new. I slide back to the top landing and crouched down. There was a medium sized brown dog, with circle patches around his eyes that made him look spectacled.

Ugh had he sent his messenger?! There was no way I was going down. I was going to stay right up here until Humphrey came back and shooed the mutt off. I'm a Pomeranian, any old lady could carry me off in a handbag. Easily. A ruffian like this could break me in three, and run amuck inside the house, ruining all of Humphrey's hard work.

But then, there he was, my Humphrey, opening up the front door chatting with Willie and his harmless dog about how to fix this dangerous door. And Willie was rattling his measuring tape and making notes. I near fainted but heard their chatter.

"I think I can fix this. We'll check some options. Frame it better. Maybe I got a thicker piece of glass to fit."

"Thanks so much Willie. Really appreciate you, man."

"No problem. Will be in touch." Quick salut and he drove off in his black sedan.

"Beanieboo, have I got a SURPRISE for you!"

mrrrphfew...

"I was thinking this morning about how to redo this bathroom..."

...but I wasn't ready to listen and slid down on all wobbly fours at his feet, resting my nose for a moment on his loafers.