Prose Etiquette Instruction Needed

Hi Prose Family!

I've been writing on Prose now for a couple months and I realized that I've never asked if there is a specific etiquette, set of guidelines, or duties I should be aware of as a Proser. Do we even call ourselves Prosers? I really should have asked from the beginning. For all I know I am committing sacrilegious blunders every time I post.

So, let me apologize retroactively for any offenses I may have caused in my ignorance. Being that I want to be considered a model Proser I ask the veterans to answer the following questions:

1. Should I thank the challenge poster in the unlikely event I win the challenge? Or is it expected that the challenge winner provide the challenge poster with a nice fruit basket or bottle of wine?

2. Are there any ceremonies I am expected to perform? For example, on the night of the full moon, should I:

a) Strip naked in front of a public library (hopefully no one sees me right before they have dinner)

b) Give myself a deep and bleeding papercut from the first sheet of a freshly opened reem of paper.

c) Use my blood to sign my name on the inside cover of an unread copy of "Lord of the Flies"

d) Douse the unread novel in White Out

e) Finally, set the book aflame while reading aloud page 1 of Dante's Inferno?

3. Do we have secret ways to identify other Prosers and reveal ourselves to possible Prosers such as by using secret code phrases? For example:

Proser 1 Code Phrase: "I think I ruptured my semicolon."

Proser 2 Code Response: "A proctologist can repair that with an Iambic Pentameter."

4. Do we have a secret handshake?

5. Do we have an oath? For example, "As a Proser, it is my solemn duty to decry the evils of the double negative. I will promote literacy. I will hunt down anyone guilty of plagiarism and gut them until they can use their entrails as a belt with the sacred, ceremonial staple remover. I will remember the thesaurus and keep it holy (adjective): sacred, consecrated, divine, venerated, and hallowed. Finally, I will rejoice and celebrate all cleverly used double entendres, expletives, and use of the terms: anal, butt, labia, penis, erectile disfunction, STD, boobs, breasts, doggy style, cum bubble, dildo, vibrator, and gang bang because at heart, I have noticed most Prosers are dirty minded sixth graders."

I am eagerly awaiting the responses to my questions from veteran Prosers. If I have unknowingly caused Prose faux pas please forgive me. Also, because I am scatter brained and lazy I want to say, "Thank you retroactively and/or in advance for all challenges I participate in and awwww shucks to any challenges I might have won or could win in the future."

Yours in Merriam-Webster,

Shallowgenepool