Partytime Blues

I’d like to think I’m immune to shame. It only goes so far like many things. There’s a line drawn eventually. That line might be shitting my pants for me. Hasn’t happened yet. But then there’s those countless situations nobody considers. Those gray area moments. There’s nothing worse than struggling to see something for what it is. You can tell it to your friends later, but it’s your version of the story, a tainted tale of woe to pull their heartstrings. I’ve never liked those who approach my introversions with confusion and pity. It’s one of those things that comes out between the lines. I wish I liked travelers more, but they’re all alike in someway; rampant over sharers. There’s no other experience like hearing about a camp counselor hook up from a person you’ve known for two days. For two months I’d live around these sleepover lumberjacks, a year later I’d being living in a kayak tour guide frat house. The names are explanatory, not literal, but they fit nonetheless. Think small town gossip, that’s the travelers code. Everything you say floats somewhere and you’d better be careful about it. I don’t know where all the fun jerks went, they’re becoming less common by the year. A lack of their company can wear you out. I miss the old bonding rituals, making slow friends by the year, hell I’ll chill with degenerates, just give me some with shared values, I’m game. Every one talks so scatter brained now. Perhaps my mind is getting slower as I age. I turned twenty four last week and that’s saying something. Maybe I’ll have the fate of my old granddad, just a guy spitting out tales from fifty years ago that no one else but him cares to remember. Nowadays people look at me like spoiled soft serve, a scrooge mc duck with goody two shoes. I’ve come to terms that I’m a social prude, but I’m no puritan. It’s only a matter of time that others label me as such. I wish people were less like chess, more like cards against humanity. I need bluntness, no implied nonsense, make me cry if you can, and be creative about it. I won’t like it, but it’ll help me get somewhere.