Malevolent maverick mailer-daemon...

wrought maximum monetary mayhem

within mein kampf

Incomprehensible inhumane

inquisitorial imp incarnate injudiciously,

ineffably, indescribably inflicted

inxs inexorable insidious injury.

Snake charmer also known

in the underworld as Harvey Specter

subliminally slithered,

and deftly insinuated himself

into body electric of yours truly

forever remotely controlling

every waking and sleeping moment

comprising ability to function.

Ever since I got gouged senseless

attributed to spellbound dime a dozen

crooked fiendish idiotic limey oaf,

who expunged loot lickety split

courtesy flagrant ingrate

latched outsize razor-sharp wickedness

yours truly held captive

impossible mission to recognize

trickery and deceit

tumbled into abysmal chasm,

when the floor fell below my feet.

Nothing but blackness seen ad-hoc

as I spun to and fro, hither and yon

with a monetary bedrock

timelessness prevailed,

and anyway present circumstances meant

nothing more superfluous than clock,

nevertheless precious elapsing

seconds, minutes, hours, et cetera

did nothing to lessen deadlock,

which gripped me noggin

running around like a madman

then unwittingly grabbing hold of frock

donned by a trumpeting cross dresser,

who subsequently

threatened me with his glock

and quickly proceeded

to wield powerful arms

to restrain yours truly

with asphyxiating headlock.

Alas and alack

mood of mine stormy and black

existential nihilism

nemesis Harvey Specter

mein kampf, he did carjack

creature dwelleth within soundgarden

sibilate doth issue

signaling trademark diamondback.

After the scam artist

made off like a bandit

the scoundrel hit paydirt then did exit

leaving me monetarily hemorrhaging

a gaping hole,

where I feel horrible

trying to muster true grit

cuz he (aforementioned swindler -

actually blimey crook

donned name incognito)

and did squarely land a hit

me with a devastating sucker punch

draining every last red cent

thus yours truly pleading emergency crisis

lest one victim

(me) seriously contemplates

his existence to quit

(perhaps experimenting

overdosing prescription medication)

furious at myself being such a dimwit;

being oblivious to obvious "red flags"

such as being told to withdraw cash

practically threatening, ordering,

kickstarting, heckling me to dash

off to Citizens Bank ignoring

feeling tension while teeth

did tightly gnash

cock and bull story, I embellished

as if strung out high on hash

witnessing webbed wide world of mine

left bereft without kash

and now I recoil

as if being beaten with a lash.

Yours truly then not in his right mind

hence funding donations

would be ever so kind

lest yours truly would be inclined

to take his (my) scrawny hind

most quarters to ten thousand cannibals

after these lovely bones licked clean

red skeleton of miine enshrined.