the assignment

my shoulders tense

nausea impedes any prevailing thoughts, except

I have to do this, but

my hands are shaking 

dammit, they won't stop

pools of paralyzing terror make every movement painful

hands swollen with fear

beads of sweat crowding my forehead

the future's sitting on my fingertips

they're not ready

If I can just...

the pipet's quivering, steadied by inexperienced dexterity

the likelihood offers little consolation  

I can't do this

the chemical's added to the test tube

This will ruin me, I will, I-

toxicity of spiraling doubt levels any sense of certainty

hesitation slows the forward motion

I don't know, I'm not...

chemicals spill onto the floor, failure at my feet

it's drowning me

I can't stop shaking

I'll break, but

I can't breath

why can't I just breathe

where is the air? I can't do this

why is the room this small? where is the air?

breathe, breathe! please!

I wish I hadn't.