An exercise in humor poetry: ‘Fate and Fortune’

Fate and Fortune

One day while I was fishing

I saw it floating near

oh, could it be, I wondered…

I squinted, squirmed, and squealed

“A message in a bottle!”

It was, it was for real.

I grabbed my net, and snatched it

and grabbed it close to me

I pried the cork all rotted

then bashed the bottle in

I chuckled to discover

what fortunes lay ahead.

I seized the purple message

a royal script for sure!

I licked my lips and giggled

to learn the tale divulged—

it read “From Gulf of Guinea”

(I thrilled how far away!)

“My righteous heart has cost me

the chance to wear my crown

I strove to save the orphans

to share the royal wealth—

accused of wasting funds, though,

they threw me to the sea.

I made it to an island

deserted, harsh and bleak

I only wish to leave here

to claim and share my wealth!

If you could only transfer

dear brother, if you would,

a hundred dollars only

to me in my account,

the bank will send the rescue,

they’ll see the SOS

I count on you, dear brother

to do this kindly deed.

Then when I’m back I’ll send you

a million dollars true

I trust you will not fail me,

please trust that this should be:

my name’s Kehinde Adeoye

which means crown prince delayed.”

I stared and keenly pondered

and gauged his doleful tale

I found it quite perturbing!

I shook my head dismayed

the bank could never find him

upon some desert isle.

My brother was a dullard

to trust a bank could help…

but I would never leave him

to worry, fret, and wait—

that wouldn’t do, oh never!

I’d send support indeed.

I wrote upon a paper

in letters big and strong

“Thank God I found your message

I see you need some help—

fate put you on that island,

dear brother, don’t despair!

Proclaim yourself its sovereign

and hold your head up high!

Your righteous heart deserves this:

a land to call your own!

My name is Duff McFoogle

and this is my reply.”

I found a clear glass bottle

and kissed the note for luck

I rolled my message tightly

and popped it right inside

I flung it on its journey

and grinned at my good deed.