12 Journal Entries
Day 1: I’ve dreamt of this day for as long as I can remember. Though this journal will serve as a training guide upon my return, I’d first like to thank everyone involved in the selection process. I find I’m giddy like a child on Christmas morning despite currently being bedridden. Radiation sickness is subsiding but I can’t get the taste of metal out of my mouth; like the old copper pennies. Nothing in the handbook or training mentioned a metallic taste and it has me a little worried. By tomorrow I should be able to stomach some food. I can’t wait to get outside.
Day 4: Feeling much better since my last entry. My spirits are high and the project is going extremely well. It’s a surreal feeling, as one might imagine. Everything is old, but brand new. It makes me feel…claustrophobic. I’m sure that’s hard to understand. I’ve never been much of a writer but the journal helps as a form of catharsis, give my thanks to the Army shrink.
Day 7: Although I’ve studied the vocabulary extensively, I’m still having a difficult time communicating. People look at me strangely when I slip up and I sometimes feel as though they’re onto me - ridiculous, I know. I have to say, the food is amazing; everything here tastes better.
Day 10: I broke protocol and went to a dance today, sue me. I had a great time. However, I can definitely say we underestimated the ‘poor hygiene’ chapter. I miss plumbing.
Day 13: I’m beginning to experience mild headaches. The doctors in pre-screen hypothesized this might occur from sensory overload so I’m not terribly concerned. I didn’t expect to feel fatigued this early. I keep reminding myself I signed up for this and that when I return I’ll be a hero (that’s a joke, Cpt.).
Day 22: My health seems to be deteriorating. I haven’t left my room in a week. Massive sensitivity to light, headaches have increased to debilitating migraines. I’ll see a doctor tomorrow, although I’m not sure what good he’ll be able to do.
Day 24: Something is wrong. I collapsed unconscious during the doctor’s visit. I woke up in a hospital and was treated for nose bleeds and head trauma before being released. Thirty-six more days; I can make it.
Day 29: Have not left the room I’m renting. I’m losing track of the days. Afraid.
Day 9: feel confused. I know am supposed to write soething today.
DayeS: I can not remmeber what am to rite here. head hurts no better. ddaiy: am going to gat halp. now. send halp plese.
dayii: ive ive want home…
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NOTE TO MEDICAL STAFF OF TRANS-ALLEGHENY LUNATIC ASYLUM: To those in receipt of this woefully disturbed and vehemently vexed patient found wandering in distress, hereupon referred to as ‘John Doe’, for whom asylum restraint is needful, please remand this curious document which accompanied him to the involuntary detention ward of the hospital for further study.
Given under my hand this 17th day of August, 1867
{signed} W.J. Bucknill, M.D.