To Amy

A friend of mine told me about how she is going through a divorce. What an awful place to be. Her sadness breaks my heart and I wish I could just mend it all for her, but life is a journey and she needs to heal. So I'm writing her this story.

To Amy.

I sat in the chair, looking outside the window, thinking "When will he come home."

I caught my reflection in the mirror, sad, tired, and withered. I realized I was alone.

Tears rolled down my face, but this time I didn't stop them. I wore them proudly.

If my kids were still awake, I'd hide in a room to wipe them away and cry out loudly.

Hate builds in my belly as I picture his face, that smug look he has when he speaks.

And even though I won't let our kids see how much I despise him, because he cheats.

How can we fall out of love, just like that? What did I do? How can I change?

I work hard, I clean up, I take care of myself and our kids, am I really, truly the blame?

Moments like these are what tear me apart, and I start to think irrational. But why?

Maybe because he tricked me from the start and made me believe he was a nice guy.

Now stuck with a broken heart and sad kids, how could this get any worse?

Oh right, I forgot. How silly of me. There's also the cost of our divorce.

Why did I even fall in love? Why did I think I was happy?

When all we ever do is fight, and he is always snapping.

But then again, maybe this is right. A new chapter in my life.

But I have to admit going through it all feels like being stabbed by a knife.

I'll get the kids and might get the house, but I'll still be losing him.

I'll tell you this is the last time I date a guy named Kevin.

To be continued.