A Maternal Ghost

My ghost of the past has many a name: guilt, fear, regret, she embodies all that I cannot tame. She haunts me night and day, assaulting me with perpetual accusations. She brings me to a happy place I knew as a child, so warm, so peaceful it was back in the day. Returning fills me with nostalgia and I am realise the consequences of my actions. She comes back to show me, remind me of how selfish I was and how I cannot change that. She is the ghost of the present as well. I see her everyday and she torments me on how I ruined her past in my past, how am ruining her present in my present. She is always there, reminding me, flitting in and out. And though I have not encountered her yet, I can feel wisps of her future form lurking around the corner. It is she. Dead now. Haunting me, accusing me of how I caused her death and how I left her. Never leaving. Never over. This ghost cannot be banished, dispelled nor forgotten, for how can one do that to their own mother?