Apathy

I know in my heart that I should be exuberant,

Your first step, your first milestone,

I shouldn't have to endure it.

My mind says that you are my beloved,

Your smile, your laughter,

Should be that which I covet.

My child, my blood,

You are my son,

You're my whole life, my whole world,

Yet I'm plagued by a desire to run.

For years I felt nothing but despair,

I didn't live, I didn't smile,

I really didn't care.

Then you came along to brighten my life,

My baby, my sphere,

Despite this there was strife.

The pain went away to be replaced by fury,

I was angry, I was mad,

The apoplectic rage was enduring.

The fury gave way to apathy,

The medicine, the fog,

It may have fixed but it didn't cure it.

Now I live a life of unbearable detachment,

No pain, no rage, not even amaze,

My greatest wish in this life is to be enraptured.