looking back (through my drafts) i find

Like Orpheus, I curse myself by looking back

arms outstretched, watching her fall

again, there are so many again’s

fall and get back up again

fall in love again

fall out of love again

fall, it’s fall again

and fall is when I fell out of your favor

no, it was the fall before that fall

or maybe springtime, even, sometimes

the leaves don’t have to change colors for everything to rot

we decay every day, more

again, death and rebirth

wrapped in her arms

precious, wearing white

the color of bones

reborn from the earth

they rise from their graves

shine like pearls, clutch them

beads fall like tears

she falls back, outstretched arms

ghostly, wispy white, and fading

like misty time and all feelings of innocence

restlessness it festers even for them

the dead, we grieve for them

not them, no, we wear rose-colored glass to the funeral

and make the black fabric look like heavenly hopefulness

there is no eulogy for the tree that becomes the coffin