blue

This feels less a color of sorrow

It feels sticky

cold

not like ice but something left in a fridge too long

When I think blue, I think the dark blue

A deep ocean of fears and unknown creatures

then remember the smiles of my friends which love it so

then I think back on blue

as a young child it was my favorite there was

I loved flowing water

floating there letting thoughts numb

then I hated it

it felt constricting, trapping, cold

too too cold

too too empty

I think blue to some words, some languages

and those I avoided so long as I hated the word in itself

"blue"

but growth comes with change

no longer my favorite nor a feeling I avoid

blue is a color you can touch and pick up

blue is cold

blue is confusing- for every shade of blue feels slightly different

blue feels like a welcoming old hug

if only id accept it

but I don't

I don't like the texture or the taste or the thought

I don't care to float freely in water or be embraced by sensations of ice

the color of my childhood- now the color of putting my flame out