4 year old poet

instead I crept into the doorway and I watched them breathe together

My sister looked distraught laid Against my tired mother

She frowned the way that children do The way that I could never

The protected way that children could- Allowed to feel whatever

And my mother tried her darndest But I could see her tired eyes

She didn't frown she didn't twitch When I turned on the kitchen light

I turned around to go to bed But when I got there, babe, I cried

Whod've known a four year old Felt so damn lonely that night

I woke up on her laundry In the doorway, on the floor-

Of course she was annoyed But I's not lonely anymore

no ones awake at 3 am and midnight no one wants to talk

so i listen to the stories and then I tell more to the walls

and the walls began to answer with moths against the glass

and the wind through the leaves outside and faces from the past

later I crawled under the covers and I listened to the rain

when the baby needs to sleep The machine won't sound the same

but the baby cried much louder She wasn't taught yet not to cry

she's allowed to seek attention Wake her parents in the night

and my mother is so tired and my Father isn't mine

and the rain on the machine repeats Perfectly in time

I ran into the livingroom Found a chair, began to cry

my ears could not hear that rhythm Repeat one more damn time

My mother found me the next morning, In the kitchen, on the floor

Of course she was annoyed But the rain can't hurt me no more

When the kids giggle at school Their god would tell me to be kind

the nicest thing I seemed to do was to Walk four feet behind

I rarely talked in groups, I didn't dare to crack a joke

so I laughed out loud at nothing, And used riddles when I spoke

then I got home and went to work then Volunteered more than was wise

I have homework, I need to run, and I need to sit and write

I sent two texts an hour ago, I wait for their replies

knowing I'd go with them wherever, if I didn't have the time

So my grades begin to slip, my mother goes to sleep at six

and my sister throws a hole in the wall and gives me lip

I wake up an hour late, and I still wake up on the floor

but mama you can't blame me, I ain't lonely anymore