Boredom and a Dead Mouse

I should be waxing my boots.

I should be mending the tear in the leather,

Needle in, needle out, then back through the other way,

Considering the cold and the pain of the trail-junkie

In the coming days,

In the winter days,

When the world turns into devil country.

I'm soaking the skin around my ankles

In rain that's hardly touching me

But for the water clinging to the plants at my feet

And the specks that hit my face when I peek out from the trees,

Moving toward the hoot, the screech,

And the unknown call somewhere to the west.

I moved backwards all day

And said it was good

And felt so still so still

While I watched my least favorite mirror

Breathe on the other side of my eyelids.

I should be writing letters.

I should be telling my friends I love them,

And how the leaves have turned to gold

And the snow that dusted the peaks is coming again Thursday

(or so they say)

And that I wish they were here and drinking my wine and tea

And telling me their loves their fears,

And telling me they love me.

I'm burying the mouse I found in the trap

In the laundry room outside my door,

And sitting atop the old forge behind my house

Watching the fog move over the face of the deer-mountain.

I wrote about falling through the ice

And it wasn't bad

Sinking down, in the blue in the white

Where the wound's bitter pain

Is the tiniest flame in the woodstove.

I should follow the music.

I should ask to sit beside unknown singers,

Whose voices bring me joy under darkening sky.

I walk past instead, and when I think to turn

I realize they have seen me go

And fear to cause confusion.

I go back home,

Spin in circles,

Play my songs

And sit beside the boots I have not mended,

Think about the letters I have not written,

Sigh that my voice is kept locked away

And my fingers can't find the right keys.

I consider the heavy bones

That keep me from my shape-shifting,

And they're alright too.

Anchor me to the riverbed

Beneath the earth, tie me to a tree

Until my roots have grown back into me.