Yearning, Wishing, Wanting

How is it that I can feel all at once too much and not enough?

I am like a cup filled to the brim

but when you try to drink from me,

There is nothing,

nothing at all.

I feel the changing weather of my emotions.

Sometimes, the forecast is unexpected

and showers on me mid afternoon,

and I didn’t bring a raincoat.

Sometimes,

I can dance in the rain,

Until I can’t.

Until I don’t know how,

because it is rain I’ve never seen.

I don’t understand why I let the warmth of other suns

comfort me more than my own.

I wish it wasn’t a warmth I wanted,

That it didn’t feel like new and old

wrapped up in a blanket

to hold me on those lonely nights.

And on those lonely nights,

when the call of anyone's name but my own

stills the emotions rioting for attention,

I cry for a warmth I’ll never have as my own.

Searching for any body to leave my soul’s storm behind.