i love you

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: hmm how would you define ur love for them

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: like a scar that never heals

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: it keeps trying to heal but something keeps peeling that thin layer of film keeping shit together

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: I keep bandaging it

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: I don't move the limb

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: I do everything I physically can so the film doesn't breaks but it breaks anyways

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: and as it bleeds I just wish for someone to beat me up

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: so that it isn't the only wound bleeding

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: and maybe if there were more wounds it wouldn't feel so alone and keep breaking

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: or maybe I've really just been faking a wound that was never there

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: and maybe if the wound weren't there. maybe they actually know me. maybe I am still me. maybe I still want my mom and dad and maybe I don't want them to die

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: maybe I want to be 30 and still have someone to call dad and disturb. maybe I still want to watch my mom make food. she's always technical and focused. patient. I wanted to learn maybe there is still a chance to. maybe I still want to call my dad and take photos of him to turn into a frog. maybe I still want to do the same to my mom. maybe I want to sit down with them and have a drawing contest with them again. maybe I want to burn my fingers on a skillet and have someone tell me it's okay and things will heal.

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: the small child in you still hoping?

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: I am the child.

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: who would be their daughter if it wasn't me.

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: maybe in another world I can tell them I am happy.

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: what if I actually love hugs but hate the fact it is never them who give it to me. So I tell people I hate hugs. because if I get no hugs then maybe they aren't that different from people.

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: maybe I hate people checking up on me because it was never them and if no one checks up on me then it's not just them.

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: maybe I hate alot of things because they never did it

[08/05, 02:41] •-•: maybe I just miss my mom and dad.