My biggest regret will always be sitting at the bottom of the river just because it was yours instead of screaming while I burned.

I find myself going back to the part where you took the best of me to burn out back and I brought you more wood and stared through the smoke searching for relief in the whites of your eyes, so focused on the flames I realized I was the one at the bottom of the river my lungs filling with you and the look on your face the first time we fucked.

And so when I handed you the match that day you threw it in with eyes cold and clear and I let the smoke fill my pupils before I coughed up the river silt into your hands

my stomach empty just in time

to watch you leave

2015