i love you even when i should run

even when you

love me

wrong

or not at all

even when you

make me question

if i’m lovable

at all

i end up

hating myself

even more

not just

because of you

but because i still choose you

knowing you won’t stop

reminding me

of my flaws

and even in silence

i hear it again—

your voice

the only time

you ever want to sit and talk

i hold my breath

knowing it means

you’ve made the list

the listing of

everything i do wrong

i still hear

the last one

from ten days ago

like a tape

i can’t shut off

and then

you call me

nuts

especially when i say

i don’t want to talk

but i still

circle back

to love you

i just tiptoe

around the explosives