Two years ago today...

On the day of my fiancé's funeral, I refused to leave his side. I held his hand as he lay lifeless in his coffin, and I whispered sweet things to him.

When his family would come up to say their final respects, I unintentionally scared them away as they watched in horror as I would kiss him on the lips, pat his hair away from his face and tell him how foundation made him look so pretty.

He smiled like flowers. Powdery and blossoms. I took big whits of his makeup every change I had. I was told much later that at one point I even attempted to crawl in to curl up with him.

If only they'd let me.