Cake

One day at a club meeting, it some how fell upon me, the procrastinator who doesn't drive, to get the cake. So on the day of the event I called a bakery.

I said to the man on the phone, "How soon can I get a cake?"

An hour, he said. He was polite and diligent and guided me through the cake ordering process. He asked for my credit card number. I gave it. He asked if he could charge me. I said yes.

Because of my lack of a car and time, I asked my then-partner to drive me. They agreed and 15 minutes before it was time to pick up the cake, they arrived at my door.

Their short pink hair was shoved into a baseball cap. Their outfit was an oh-so-masculine un-buttoned shirt over a crop-top and jeans. They had put on make-up, winged eyeliner and lip gloss. All of this combined with their flat chest and slight hips... they looked androgynous and beautiful. I loved it. The outfit, the make up, it was so well put together. It was so... them.

"You look great!" I said, throwing my arms around them. We kissed briefly and walked to their car hand in hand.

We were happy. They felt as though they were finally expressing who they were. They felt handsome and confident. We loved each other dearly. And we were about to be blessed with cake. It was a good day.

As we waited in line to pick up the cake, I snuggled up to them. Their comfort and happiness was contagious and we found ourselves huddled close, whispering and stealing kisses. I remember blushing like they were my first love.

But when we got to the front of the line, the mood shifted. The man working the counter seemed to not want to serve us at all. When I mentioned my order, he said that there was no such order. I was confused.

"Did you speak to a man or a woman on the phone?" He asked

"A man" I said.

"He sounded just like you," I didn't say.

"You must have made a mistake," he told me, "I'm the only man that works here, and I didn't take any calls today"

I paused, shocked. I didn't get a chance to recover. He firmly moved on to the next customer in line.

I stumbled back a bit, feeling dizzy from the sudden tension. Was I in the wrong bakery? Together my partner and I checked that we were at the right bakery and that the order had indeed been placed. 

My bank records showed the cost of the cake was charged to my card. And the money was charged by the very bakery we were standing in. Feeling more than a little miffed, we got back in line.

Suddenly my partner had an idea. 

"Call the bakery" they said.

My eyes were wide. I pulled out my phone and hit redial. We heard the bakery phone ring.

We exchanged looks. We watched as another employee picked up the phone.

"Hi," I said when she'd picked up, "I'm in your bakery right now, trying to pick up a cake I ordered, but I was told my order doesn't exist?"

The lady spotted me and I waved. She called me up to the counter.

"What's your name?" was the only question she asked. I had my cake 2 seconds later.

"I didn't get what they were saying- I thought they said pick up" sputtered the man who had denied us cake.

But it was too late. I'd spoken to him on the phone an hour before yet he claimed not to have taken any calls.

He'd denied us service. He was rude to us and lied instead of literally just reaching behind him and handing us a box. And the whole time we were in line, we'd watched him politely serve the rest of the customers. We knew it was personal.

We were silent all the way back home, thinking over and over "Did I imagine that?" 

We didn't. It had happened. And would continue to happen every time we were in public. We'd hold hands and passers-by would frown. We'd kiss and mothers would shield their children.

When we got to the event that day, the cake turned out to be delicious and superb. But it stuck in our throats. All our friends praised my partner's make up, their great style and fashion sense. But the compliments didn't feel authentic.

We replayed the scenario from the bakery over and over in our heads. We hadn't done anything wrong. 

I watched them wash their make up off that night. What had once made them confident now made them feel vulnerable.

We sat together on my couch, the fear and confusion settling between us like cement. I leaned forward and we shared a soft, chaste kiss.

In that silence, I felt intimacy and tenderness and trust.

I felt our familiar sweet love. 

And for the first time, I was scared.