Who is @James

My name is Ogungbesan Adedoyinsola, I am 20 years old. I was born in Lagos state, Nigeria. And I have lived in Lagos, since I was born.

Sometime many years ago, I was diagnosed with cerebral malaria and had serious episodes of convulsions. After undergoing several blood transfusion. My condition became critical, I was in comma for nearly a week. Hours to when the doctors concluded that it best I was let to rest. The life that everyone thought had ended, opened my eyes.

It took me time to fully recover, but after few years I was fully functional, but had lost some vital memories of my childhood. I got along just fine and friends in school. But my home was not in order. My dad, who is always smoking and drinking had a hot temper, my mom who claims she did not marry my father out of love. She was raped by father when she was 18 years or so, got pregnant and was forced to marry the father of the baby in her womb. Due, to family heritage and respect. She became his bride.

The baby in her womb, that is my older sister, the first of four children.

The rest are boys, and I happen to be the last of them all.

My mom left my father when I was a baby, to raise us by herself and with the help of her father, who later died that very year.

She struggled to put us in school, with little help from friends and family, to manage through hard times.

My sister graduated from college years after, only to start my mothers life cycle, in a more fetish way. She's with two daughters now and no job. Her husband also does not have a constant job. Seriously I don't know what he does. You can tell from the look of her first daughter that they're malnourished.

My older brother, the first boy is currently serving in Kano state as an interim Economics teacher, which ends sometime in September. He has no actual plan for his life, and he his gradually walking in the footsteps of my father. Not caring for his well being psychologically, chain of girl friends, etc.

The second boy, did well for himself, but failed to achieve the goal he had set for himself, due to peer pressure. He works in a bank, but his consciousness to the things of the world, is gradually taking him on a downward heel.

I, the most stubborn of all, have looked into the steps of my predecessor and noticed that, if I continue in this environment, I would likely end up like them. So I stopped going to class. Because I must rewrite my family history. I sit in the library all day thinking of things I can do, not to end up like them. I sleep at the staircase towards the library. My life is totally isolated from everyone. I had to stop going to class because the state of my country is dire, the future is bleak. The same thing happens again and again.

I don't want to end up as poor as my family is. So all the post I have on prose are done with tears and hope. I sleep most of the night very hungry. Sometimes I beg, so that I have to live to survive another day. I believe I can change the world, but, I cannot do so from where I am. I have worn a single trouser for over month now. To be fair, prose is all have. The money I should use to eat, I use it to prose. I need a change in environment. This is a cry from my innermost heart. If you're out there and you can take me from this forsaken place, please help me. I'm a man broke with a smiling teeth.