Innocent

Innocent they call me

But what is that but a name?

A name developed through looks and those factors which I cannot control

A name that has been placed upon me without knowledge of me or my intentions

And so can such a name be true?

But it is not, that I know

For only those at home, those that know nothing of me have labelled me as such

For away from home I am far more expressive of myself

I am blunt and honest

I am myself and my intentions are clear

And those things that catch my attention, I am not afraid to say do so

Whether it be objects or people that interest me

And when my darkest thoughts

My thoughts no one should ever know

Are told

Then it becomes clear that I am far from that word which I have hated

For innocence is what I am not, and only what I look

A look I have tried to change but nevertheless my attempts are failures

And I am called cute once again

For then it becomes clear that I am only inexperienced

Longing for the pleasures I do not have

Longing to be experienced, if by doing so my innocence is clearly undone

And so do I now speak truly of my intentions?

Will anyone else know what I seek?

No it cannot be known, that I know

For my thoughts are far more than what anyone should know of me

And so I'll stick to labels and false names

Until the day comes when people realize they are so mistaken

And when my true self comes to light

Well then, there will be no more innocence suspected

And do I fear others knowing at last what I have inside my mind?

Yes I'll admit I do

For I am ever fearful of judgement

But I'll accept it

For at least I'll be called the wretched word no more.