Bad Memory

This is a memory

I don't like to visit often

I was only 14

When I lost my innocence

But the story doesn't start there

It doesn't start that day

Or even with that boy

It starts when I was real little

Not knowing much about the world

Not yet knowing it's cruelty

Or it's people

The perves and creepes

The disgusting hands

That liked to touch me

I didn't know it was wrong

I didn't know to say "Stop"

I didn't like it

But I thought it was normal

Doesn't that thought make you sick?

All those boys who touched me

Telling me it was okay

I can't believe I couldn't see

All I could do was pray

I was abused

Physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally

No wonder I'm so used to getting used

Then I met this boy

He was nothing special

I swear

He just wanted what they all do

And he knew I was vulnerable

So one night

At 3 a.m

We did it

Unprotected

I was scared I might be pregnant

And when he heard this

He left me

My parents were pissed

But I  was alone

Cuz I got myself into this

The tests all came back

Negative

Which is good

Because I couldn't live

With his kid

Two months later

I met a boy

We fell in love

I was just a used toy

But he didn't care

Until he left me

Now I'm alone

Again

But who needs a heart or home

When you have a pen