Shoot Me Down

I hate trusting people,

Whether it be girlfriends, co-workers, or friends,

I see damn near everyone as a backstabbing piece of shit until they prove otherwise,

And half the time when they do prove otherwise, it was just a front,

To trust is to hand someone a gun and say ‘you can shoot me down whenever you want’.

But what are we without trust,

I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life,

I want friends,

I want a girlfriend,

I want a wife,

And a family,

But if I don’t trust anyone I get none of that.

I've trusted people who never deserved it,

Examples? I've got plenty,

My (ex) girlfriend, alcohol, my friend, a couch,

Another ex, a fight, my best friend, pictures on his phone,

An ex who said “you saved me from an abusive relationship”, two months went by, I still don’t know if she ever really left him,

The list goes on,

To trust is to hand someone a gun and say ‘you can shoot me down whenever you want’.

The gun has been given,

The chamber is loaded,

My knees are shaking,

Please, don’t shoot me down.