Scarred, Broken, but not Destroyed

She knelt by her bed and wept. The world was caving in around her. This couldn't be real... surely it was all a dream...

A nightmare.

Slowly, she left her bedside, and went back to her living room. The television was still on, broadcasting the nightmare as it unfolded.

The date was 9/11/2001

And it was Grace's birthday. Grace was 23 years old, newly wed to her wonderful husband... Her husband had just taken a flight. He was on flight 93 when it crashed.

As Grace sat disbelievingly on her couch, watching the news of this insane attack on freedom and hope, she began to do something she hadn't done in a long time.

Grace began to pray. She had been raised by Christian parents, and had accepted Jesus and been baptized, but hadn't really followed it up with much action. Now, she found herself kneeling on the floor, alternately weeping and praying, crying out to God in her despair. She didn't understand, she couldn't understand how a loving God could allow something like this to happen to innocent people. Her husband, and many others. She'd always heard that God was in control of everything, and that everything happened because He made it happen.

But she couldn't bring herself to believe that. For the moment, Grace contented herself with berating God for what had happened... and weeping for her own loss.

9/12/2001

Grace awoke to find herself on the floor in her living room. At first she was confused, not knowing why she was there. Then it all came rushing back to her, along with a flood of tears at the disaster. Grace then heard her phone ringing. She dragged herself to her feet to answer it. It was her sister, Hope. Grace was angry at her sister, though she did not know why. The anger was not actually for her sister, but it felt that way and that's where it was going to go.

Hope was weeping at the other end. "Grace! Grace, please tell me that David is there with you!"

"No! Hope, he was on his flight. Flight 93. You saw it go down, didn't you?"

"Of course I did! I was just hoping that maybe-"

"That's not helping, Hope! Why? Why did God make this happen? I'm a good person, and I'm a Christian. David's a good guy, too, so why? WHY GOD?!" Grace almost screamed into her sister's ear. There was silence on both ends, except for broken weeping from Grace. After a moment, Hope spoke again.

"God didn't make this happen, Grace. He is a merciful God. Yes, He allowed it to happen, but that doesn't mean He caused it. Remember, the Bible says that God will work everything, even the greatest tragedy, for our good. Nothing can separate us from God's love, not life or death, or heights or depths, or angels or demons, or anything on earth or below or above."

"But Hope! If God can do anything, and if He's so loving, then why didn't He stop this from happening? I know He could have! What good could possibly come of this?" Grace began weeping again, violently. 

"I don't know yet, Grace. And we may not know until we get to heaven. But be assured, God will turn this right."

10/6/2001

Grace called her sister. She had just had a real shock. She'd found out some horrible things. And she was beginning to see the tip of what good might come of this tragedy.

"Hope, Hope! You won't believe this!" Grace said, her words clipped with anger.

"Whatever is the matter, Grace?"

"I just found out that David had another girlfriend, and he was cheating on me with her! I just can't believe he'd do something like that to me! We hadn't even been married a year yet! Oohhh!"

"Grace, that's horrible! I can't believe it either!"

"But that's not the only news. I have more. This news is a bit better."

"Well, what? I thought you seemed a little calmer than I'd expect considering your late husband was cheating on you. What's this news?"

Grace quickly spilled the beans.

"Oooohhhh!" Hope squealed. "You're gonna be a mom! Oh my gosh, are you excited?"

"Yes... but nervous as well. I'm alone, and I have no job to support myself with. And now no one to support me. I can't think what I'm going to do."

"Pray?" Hope suggested.

"I might just do that."

11/2/2001

The bell rang, and Grace went to the door. She was expecting Hope to come over that day, so when she opened the door to see a handsome gentleman standing there she was a bit surprised.

Actually, to say Grace was a bit surprised would be understating the fact. Grace was thoroughly surprised, and confused as well. So much so that she burst out laughing. She quickly apologized, and asked him his name.

"I'm James Stanton," the man said, smiling. "Is... your husband home?"

"Umm, no... he was on Fli... he died recently."

"Oh! I'm so sorry, miss..."

"Grace. Grace Villa." She replied, using her maiden name.

"I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am. Is there anything I can do? Maybe pray for you? I think I saw you in my church the other day."

"Grace Baptist? Yes, I was there on Sunday. I enjoyed the sermon a good deal. It was so true, and gives me hope."

"I thought so as well. I recently lost my wife on Flight 93."

"Then you and I have something in common," Grace smiled. James smiled back.

1/1/2002

Grace smiled at her sister. "Didn't we just do this?" Hope asked.

"Ha, ha. Not funny, Hope."

"Sorry, Grace. I shouldn't have." Grace turned and sighed. "Are you nervous?"

"No."

Hope stared at her sister.

"Well, maybe a little," Grace admitted. She looked stunning in a white gown with a deep sapphire necklace and pale gauze veil. She held in her hands a bouquet of white roses, tied with a blue ribbon. Her grey eyes sparkled, and her lips were pulled into a half smile.

A few rooms away, Mark watched laughingly as James paced back and forth. "Stop it, Jay, you'll wear a rut in the floor."

"Why is it this always seems to take so long?" James muttered distractedly.

"Oh come on, it's a woman. That's what they do, take long showers, take long dressing, take long cooking, take long talking, etc, etc."

"You could be more helpful, you know," James said.

"I know. But this is more fun," Mark grinned.

Hope left her sister and ran to pick up her violin. She began playing as everyone took their places. In a moment, Grace walked out. James' jaw fell when he saw her. Mark, his best man, reached over and gently shut it. Grace tried to stifle a giggle, as she stood beside James in front of the altar.

It was a few moments, a few words; but a lifetime of commitment to each other... and to the little one soon to come.

Grace and James Stanton left that night, feeling more whole than either had felt since the attacks of last September. They each felt that they'd started this new year on a better foot than the last one had ended.

4/25/2004

It was a rather cool spring night, and Grace was sitting on her back porch. She was looking at the stars and thinking of the hands that had made them. Those same hands were guiding her future, and the Owner of those hands loved her so much that He'd sent His Son Jesus to take her punishment. Grace smiled thinking of her own little son, lying asleep in his bed, and of the little precious soul only a few weeks old inside her womb.

Suddenly Grace felt James' hands on her shoulders. She tilted her head up to look at him. "Are you glad, Grace, that things happened the way they did?"

"Glad? Hardly glad because of it. Rather, in spite of it. Or through it. Not because of 9/11 or David dying or any of it. But God has used these circumstances to bring me back to Him... and He gave me you, as well."

Grace's eyes sparkled up at James in the darkness. She knew she would always bear on her mind and soul the scars of that horrible day, but she also knew that the day had not destroyed her completely. As long as she had God, she knew she could always hope.

It wasn't the end, but only the beginning.